Hi.  My name is Karen and I’m an Online Dating Addict.

No. I don’t go on many dates. I just keep re-visiting the dating sites a million times a day.

Hello! Is anybody there? Someone interesting? Good-looking? Respectful? Funny? Smart? Not looking to get married in the next two weeks?

I do get a lot of messages in my inbox, though – from stupid boys.

—————————

This is my OKCupid profile:

My Self Summary

Travel, bike rides, hiking, books, healthy living, the ocean, mountains and adventure…that’s me in short. Family, friends, and beauty surround me. I love to travel, camp and prefer to walk or bike a city, instead of drive it. I’m an active and outdoors type of girl. I have a young, playful, adventurous spirit, laugh easily and I am always willing and wanting to learn something new. I’m kind, considerate and a thoughtful listener.

I have two boys and a girl…young adults, college and working. I’m very proud of all three…and extremely pleased with how they grew up to be kind, intelligent, wise young people. Now, for me, I’m so excited about exploring a new life for myself.

What I’m doing with my life

I’m spending my time learning and preparing for a different career and, at the same time, traveling, having fun and connecting with people.

What I’m really good at

Dancing, photography, cooking, listening, travel-planning, spelling, having fun

Favorite books, movies, shows, food, etc.

Favorite books to name a few: City of Thieves, Perfume, Anna Karenina, The Art of Racing in the Rain
Favorite movies: Lovers of the Arctic Circle, Sex and Lucia, One Week, Birdman, Moonrise Kingdom, Elf, most Judd Apatow movies
Favorite music: Adult alternative, jazz, classical, blues

Six Things I would never do without

Music. Nature. Laughter. Family. Sun. Imagination.

What I spend the most time thinking about

Coincidence.

On a typical Friday night I am

Spending time with my girlfriends – dinner, drinks, fun.

You should message me if

You want to meet for coffee or a drink to see if we gel.

The Tinder “bio” is shorter:

Travel, bike rides, camping, hiking, healthy living, the ocean, mountains and adventures are some of the things I love.  Music is very important in my life…I like most except for country and rap.  I have two boys and a girl, all out of the home…so now time to have a little freedom and enjoy life without so many obligations.  So I’m beginning to branch out in to the dating world a little bit…

—————————-

I spent a lot of time crafting these profiles, and I was quite confident I would be hearing from a lot of men….and soon.

Instead – I hear from stupid boys. Age range 42-55 years of age.

Check this out:

THE TOP TEN ONLINE DATING MESSAGES (from stupid boys)

(Reflected in frequency)

(stupid boys) DESERVE RESPONSES LIKE:

          

INSTEAD

I PUT A LITTLE MORE EFFORT INTO MOST RESPONSES (to stupid boys):

 (stupid boys) RESPOND TO MY RESPONSES LIKE THIS:

       

…and the e-mail exchanges rarely go past that.

Then there are the…

COMMON SCARY MESSAGES I GET:

I’m recently widowed and looking to find a mate.  

I’m looking to find my soulmate to share the rest of my life with. It could be you. 

I’m finally looking to get married and it seems like you are too. Let’s get to know one another. 

Did they not see that I checked the box “Not Looking for a Long Term Relationship?”

So you see where this is going, right?  Nowhere!  This is why I don’t get many dates. Yet, I continue to hold out hope.  I’m addicted!

——————————————-

I did wake up to this in my inbox the other day. 🙂

“You’re a beautiful woman and I loved reading your profile.  You seem intelligent and up for adventure.  We both like hiking and travel.  Where do you hike?  Please check out my profile and see if you’re interested.  I would love to chat with you more…. maybe we can meet for a glass of wine?”

Oooooh…  Handsome. Younger. Good Profile – Seems Smart.  I was excited.

A few e-mails later I find out …

Married.

Ciao for now!

k