I’ve been keeping it a secret. But, I just can’t keep it to myself any longer.
I’m in love. I’m in love with my imaginary boyfriend and his name is Travis. His name is what I first fell in love with. Everything else I fell in love with came shortly thereafter.
Travis Lee Worter. I call him Trav for short. I often tease him that he needs a “Jr.” or a “II” or a “III” after Worter. When I first teased him, he sorrowfully bowed his head and whispered to me that he no longer has his father.
Last week I yanked myself off all online dating sites. For now.
I even deleted the Tinder app.
I need a break. I just can’t seem to get past “go” with these guys.
After coming out of a 22 year marriage, I got really excited about dating again. To prepare to get back in the game, I watched reruns of Sex and the City over and over and over. I mean, I could probably recite every episode if I had a gun put to my head – those girls were teachin’ me things. I know. It’s a little embarrassing, right? – That I did that. But it’s true. I watched and studied those girls, and I thought this would be easy.
I’m scared! No, seriously!!!
I’m really really a-scared to go to another Meetup. After my first.
Well, maybe I overstated that a bit. Let me put it this way, it’s been 3 months since the first and I still can’t bring myself to sign up for a second.
My girlfriend, she’s not scared. She’s already decided. “Not for me!”
The sole purpose for our first? To Meet Men.
Honestly. I don’t know that there is anything funny that comes out of assembling a piece of Ikea furniture.
The first time I ever put a piece of Ikea furniture together was years ago at a law firm where I worked. I was somewhere in my stupid-old 20’s. It was a small firm. A very, very small firm. My title? Jack-of-all-Trades. Apparently.
Hi. My name is Karen and I’m an Online Dating Addict.
No. I don’t go on many dates. I just keep re-visiting the dating sites a million times a day.
Hello! Is anybody there? Someone interesting? Good-looking? Respectful? Funny? Smart? Not looking to get married in the next two weeks?
I do get a lot of messages in my inbox, though – from stupid boys.
Recently, I received this text:
G’morning, Karen…I have a fun follow-up date idea, if you’re interested…
(I scramble to sign up for text-blocking before I answer – I need to wait one hour for it to kick in. I wait four.)
Hi Bob. Thank you for the drinks last night. Interesting talking to you. However, I don’t think we are suited…so I’m not interested in a 2nd. Good luck on your future dates. I wish you well.
(blocking does not kick in)
Hahahaha! No problem. I’ve long since given up trying to figure out what women think 🙂
Just between you & I though, it is a little discouraging that you’d find a couple flings more attractive options than a 6’4″ Berkeley educated genius IQ great kisser great lover versatile Renaissance man of letters, author, and peerless conversationalist who shares ur interest in old movies and who women are always calling really handsome. LOL –