Tag Archives: Midlife

MY YEAR OF YES!

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Yes 2

October 1st, 2008. That’s when it started. I drove to work, walked into my office, sat down at my desk, booted up my computer and as soon as my fingers touched the keyboard, I began to sob. And from that point forward, I sobbed every day for a year. From October 1st, 2008 to October, 2nd 2009, I sobbed. For one entire year. Every single day.

At the time, I didn’t know why I sobbed. I just sobbed, and it wouldn’t stop. It was like vomiting out the emotion of a thousand years, and I was surprised I had that much in me. I didn’t like it. I wanted it to stop.

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ON CHRISTMAS MORNING 2014 I WOKE UP ALONE

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Christmas 2

I woke up alone.

On Christmas morning 2014 I woke up alone for the very first time in my entire life.

But I wasn’t sad about it.

The stockings were full. The candy was out. The gifts were under the tree. I even left the Christmas tree lights on overnight. Like I always do. But this time I took my Christmas Eve sleep to the couch, right next to the Christmas tree. That year, I needed to sleep beside Christmas. 

I needed to wake up beside Christmas – my first Christmas morning alone.

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GOOGLE, GOD, AND A FLOOD WATCH FROM HELL

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Long Road Ahead

I’m pretty much fucked. That’s my considered opinion. Fucked.

Okay. Those aren’t my words. I just read them in this book, The Martian. But still that’s how I feel. Moreover, I just started that novel, but, now, I don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to finish it.  My phone is almost dead. My book is on my phone. I even had to delete that book app, and pretty soon I could be stuck in the mucking fother boondocks, shoulder deep in mud. No food. No water. No Google. No book. I very well may be doomed. Just like that guy in that novel who was left alone there on Mars for a while.

Well, maybe not that bad. But pretty close.

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THE MANY NAKED SHAPES AND SIZES OF A KOREAN SPA

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Spa 2

Here I sit naked, computer on my lap, in a Korean Spa in downtown Los Angeles writing this story. My butt cheeks are spread-out on top of a towel laid out on some pillow, legs together, outstretched taut in front of me so that no one can spot what they don’t want to see.

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WELCOME TO MY MIDLIFE – MEET MY NEW BOYFRIEND

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MAN 2

I’ve been keeping it a secret. But, I just can’t keep it to myself any longer.

I’m in love. I’m in love with my imaginary boyfriend and his name is Travis. His name is what I first fell in love with. Everything else I fell in love with came shortly thereafter.

Travis Lee Worter. I call him Trav for short. I often tease him that he needs a “Jr.” or a “II” or a “III” after Worter. When I first teased him, he sorrowfully bowed his head and whispered to me that he no longer has his father.

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THE KIDS GOT ME DRUNK AND MADE ME SMOKE

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The Kids

SATURDAY I PARTIED WITH “THE KIDS!” – THE END.

Just kidding! About the “-The End” part, I mean.

For purposes of this story, I’m referring to, specifically, “The Kids” ages 21 to 29 years. The untamed. The energetic. The romantically idealistic ones – sprinkled with just a bit of cynicism and barely crumbs of fear.

Oh…Just, basically, the ones who drink a lot of beer and can buy it for themselves.

Just so we’re clear.

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ASSEMBLING IKEA – A BOSS, MYSELF AND A DATE

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Assembling Ikea - A Boss, Myself and a Date

Honestly. I don’t know that there is anything funny that comes out of assembling a piece of Ikea furniture.

The first time I ever put a piece of Ikea furniture together was years ago at a law firm where I worked. I was somewhere in my stupid-old 20’s. It was a small firm.  A very, very small firm. My title? Jack-of-all-Trades. Apparently.

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