DUDE! WHAT’S UP WITH OUR DATE? (CRICKETS) DID YOU DIE?

guy on text machine

Last week I yanked myself off all online dating sites. For now.

I even deleted the Tinder app.

I need a break. I just can’t seem to get past “go” with these guys.

After coming out of a 22 year marriage, I got really excited about dating again. To prepare to get back in the game, I watched reruns of Sex and the City over and over and over.  I mean, I could probably recite every episode if I had a gun put to my head – those girls were teachin’ me things. I know. It’s a little embarrassing, right? – That I did that. But it’s true. I watched and studied those girls, and I thought this would be easy.

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TOP 10 ONLINE DATING MESSAGES

Hi.  My name is Karen and I’m an Online Dating Addict.

No. I don’t go on many dates. I just keep re-visiting the dating sites a million times a day.

Hello! Is anybody there? Someone interesting? Good-looking? Respectful? Funny? Smart? Not looking to get married in the next two weeks?

I do get a lot of messages in my inbox, though – from stupid boys.

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RENAISSANCE MAN OF LETTERS – ONE BAD DATE

72H

Recently, I received this text:

10:08 am

G’morning, Karen…I have a fun follow-up date idea, if you’re interested…

(I scramble to sign up for text-blocking before I answer – I need to wait one hour for it to kick in. I wait four.)

3:14 pm

Hi Bob.  Thank you for the drinks last night.  Interesting talking to you.  However, I don’t think we are suited…so I’m not interested in a 2nd.  Good luck on your future dates.  I wish you well.

(blocking does not kick in)

3:33 pm

Hahahaha!  No problem.  I’ve long since given up trying to figure out what women think 🙂

Just between you & I though, it is a little discouraging that you’d find a couple flings more attractive options than a 6’4″ Berkeley educated genius IQ great kisser great lover versatile Renaissance man of letters, author, and peerless conversationalist who shares ur interest in old movies and who women are always calling really handsome.  LOL –

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TOP TEN LIST OF MOST COMMON ONLINE DATING PICS

online picx

So. Ahem. I started dating. Kind of. Since I seem to be ensconced in estrogen these days, I could use a good shot of testosterone every now and again. What can I say? A man friend. A part-time boyfriend. A lover. A let’s-go-out-and-hit-a-few-balls-in-the-park guy. Any of these would be great.  I still love my girlfriends.  But.  Just put a man in my world.  Please.

So. I have started my dating adventure with the online dating thing.

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