MY BLONDE MOMENT

I just had a blonde moment.

Well, the blonde moment occurred not less than 4 hours ago. I just discovered it.

To me, she isn’t pretty.

Just last week my niece asked two of us sitting at the dinner table to share our blonde moments and our brunette moments with her for the week. She then would share hers.

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WELCOME TO MY MIDLIFE – MEET MY NEW BOYFRIEND

MAN 2

I’ve been keeping it a secret. But, I just can’t keep it to myself any longer.

I’m in love. I’m in love with my imaginary boyfriend and his name is Travis. His name is what I first fell in love with. Everything else I fell in love with came shortly thereafter.

Travis Lee Worter. I call him Trav for short. I often tease him that he needs a “Jr.” or a “II” or a “III” after Worter. When I first teased him, he sorrowfully bowed his head and whispered to me that he no longer has his father.

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C’MON, NOW! IT’S JUST A BIT OF POTTY HUMOR!

Toilet

I have three rules for Facebook.

Thou shalt not, including but not limited to, post, share, expose, like, agree, oppose, expound on, spew, or contribute to anything Political.

Thou shalt not, including but not limited to, post, share, expose, like, agree, oppose, expound on, spew, or contribute to anything Religion.

Thou shalt not, including but not limited to, post, share, expose, like, agree, oppose, expound on, spew or contribute to anything Negative.

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DUDE! WHAT’S UP WITH OUR DATE? (CRICKETS) DID YOU DIE?

guy on text machine

Last week I yanked myself off all online dating sites. For now.

I even deleted the Tinder app.

I need a break. I just can’t seem to get past “go” with these guys.

After coming out of a 22 year marriage, I got really excited about dating again. To prepare to get back in the game, I watched reruns of Sex and the City over and over and over.  I mean, I could probably recite every episode if I had a gun put to my head – those girls were teachin’ me things. I know. It’s a little embarrassing, right? – That I did that. But it’s true. I watched and studied those girls, and I thought this would be easy.

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THE KIDS GOT ME DRUNK AND MADE ME SMOKE

The Kids

SATURDAY I PARTIED WITH “THE KIDS!” – THE END.

Just kidding! About the “-The End” part, I mean.

For purposes of this story, I’m referring to, specifically, “The Kids” ages 21 to 29 years. The untamed. The energetic. The romantically idealistic ones – sprinkled with just a bit of cynicism and barely crumbs of fear.

Oh…Just, basically, the ones who drink a lot of beer and can buy it for themselves.

Just so we’re clear.

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