I am only 6 weeks into this blogging thing. I guess I could be considered a “Blogger” since I’ve written and published my first post, not to mention the following three posts. And now this one.  However, I’m certainly no expert at it, and it doesn’t make me any money, and I don’t have a million followers – Yet. But I get to practice and learn everything I want. And that’s all the satisfaction I need. For now.

To the layman this is difficult to explain.  For the layman it may be difficult to grasp. Because the layman, apparently, knows a thing or two about blogging.  I know. I’ve heard. I just may be doing it all wrong. Actually. Evidentally. Apparently. Indubitably.

I don’t know.  I’m just doin’ it.

This past Sunday my youngest son and I returned from a weekend at “The Ranch.” The Ranch is what I call my sister’s home: a family of 5 acres, 2 horses, 2 dogs, 3 grown kids, 2 house cats, a stray cat named MotherHugger, and a rabbit named Patch. Oh…and a neighbor who raises a whole slew of Cock-a-Doodle-Dos right next door. Don’t ask. I don’t.  But they’re undeniably there.  And they’re noisy.  My sister and her husband have built a nice life for themselves, and The Ranch is where a lot of family gathers for special occasions. This past weekend was one of those.

I may be the black sheep person, if you had to pick one out from our family. Although, who knows? Each one of my siblings may claim that status for themselves. We all have our ways.  My sisters and their families are “set and stable.” My brother and his family lives a nice quiet but busy life.  I, on the other hand, after a life metamorphasis, live simply, still drive the teenage-mobile (242k miles and covered with the scars of early 3-teenager driving years), walk or bike everywhere, recently jobless, and, in my head, I see-saw between living a settled or nomadic life.  In short, I’m building up my life again from scratch.  I’m sure my family worries about me from time to time and feels the need to offer their two-cents. Not too often, though. This goes for friends too. But I’m a good person, strong, I know what I want (except for that see-saw part) and I know what I stand for and value.  Not to mention, I like to think my common sense rides right along with my sense of adventure.  It actually does.  Well…Maybe.  I think.  

Most importantly, I’m living my life the way I want!!!

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That Saturday afternoon at The Ranch is chalk full of swimming, cartwheels, soccer, eating, day-drinking, and conversation.  With more day-drinking.  And then more.

Then this discussion over this blog comes up.  The questions come at me like rapid fire.  The advice is ample.  I feel like a teenager who is being questioned about what she’s going to do with her life over and over and over again, and not without advice about stuff that has nothing to do with her.

THE INQUISITORS’ INTERROGATION

Why are you writing a blog?

What is your objective for your blog?  Why that?

How will you make money off the blog?

A blog won’t make you money.

Nobody reads blogs.

Who’s going to read your stories?

There’s so much out there you’ll never get noticed.

People and companies are turning away from social media. It’s stupid and destructive.

When are you going to find a job?

THE ADVISORY STAFF

You should sell stuff on your blog.

You should promote other companies’ stuff on your blog so they’ll give you stuff.

You should have a cat video go viral and point it to your blog so everyone reads your blog.

You should write something shocking! Totally inappropriate. Then they’ll notice you.

You should write about this.

You should write about that.

You should have a Blog Party where you invite all the Bloggers to your place.

You should get a job!

My head is spinning.  So many “shoulds.”  So many questions.  In my head I go from,  “She has a point.  He has a point.”  to “Why am I doing that?  What am I doing wrong?  Should I be doing this?”  Then the defenses kick in:  I answer.  I defend.  I explain.  I may even beat around the bush a lil’ – why I do – why I can’t – why I won’t – what I will – and, shamefully, there are a bunch of “I don’t knows” mixed into all of that.  Nonetheless, I don’t think I satisfy anybody with my answers and explanations, especially my “I don’t knows.”  Plus, I don’t even know if anyone has even read my blog, much less any blog at all.   Oh – Except my dad –  he told me he read it.  And my sister-in-law – she told me she read it.  And my two older kids  – they’ve read it and share it enthusiastically.  My youngest – well – he is “ascared” – worried that I’m going to talk about S-E-X in it.  And I will.  So he won’t.  “Okay, get yourself together,” I tell myself in my head.  “It’s advice from a layman.”  “They just mean well.”  “Don’t get dissuaded.”  After replaying my pep talk a few times in my head,  I finally talk myself into stepping right back into my confidence garb and release my defenses to the gods.   I think I know what I’m doing.  That’s good enough for me.

Then I go back to day-drinking and let it go.

Later that evening, after my parents say their goodbyes, I walk them out.  I get a nice surprise.  As MotherHugger follows me and starts circling my ankles, my father leans in, gives me a hug goodbye, and whispers, “keep blogging, dear.”

I am happy.

Ciao for now!

k