C’MON, NOW! IT’S JUST A BIT OF POTTY HUMOR!

Toilet

I have three rules for Facebook.

Thou shalt not, including but not limited to, post, share, expose, like, agree, oppose, expound on, spew, or contribute to anything Political.

Thou shalt not, including but not limited to, post, share, expose, like, agree, oppose, expound on, spew, or contribute to anything Religion.

Thou shalt not, including but not limited to, post, share, expose, like, agree, oppose, expound on, spew or contribute to anything Negative.

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DUDE! WHAT’S UP WITH OUR DATE? (CRICKETS) DID YOU DIE?

guy on text machine

Last week I yanked myself off all online dating sites. For now.

I even deleted the Tinder app.

I need a break. I just can’t seem to get past “go” with these guys.

After coming out of a 22 year marriage, I got really excited about dating again. To prepare to get back in the game, I watched reruns of Sex and the City over and over and over.  I mean, I could probably recite every episode if I had a gun put to my head – those girls were teachin’ me things. I know. It’s a little embarrassing, right? – That I did that. But it’s true. I watched and studied those girls, and I thought this would be easy.

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THE KIDS GOT ME DRUNK AND MADE ME SMOKE

The Kids

SATURDAY I PARTIED WITH “THE KIDS!” – THE END.

Just kidding! About the “-The End” part, I mean.

For purposes of this story, I’m referring to, specifically, “The Kids” ages 21 to 29 years. The untamed. The energetic. The romantically idealistic ones – sprinkled with just a bit of cynicism and barely crumbs of fear.

Oh…Just, basically, the ones who drink a lot of beer and can buy it for themselves.

Just so we’re clear.

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PERILS OF THIS WRITER’S SELF-DIAGNOSED ADHD – A CREATIVE MESS

Creative Mess

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There’s really not much to read here.

But, wait, don’t go yet!

It’s just that I can’t write. Yep! This week and last week, actually.

Yeah…well… my hands are sore, my computer is slow and now my ergonomically correct wireless keyboard and mouse aren’t working. Yes, I did change the batteries.

But that’s not why.

It’s my brain.

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THE LOS ANGELES MEETUP – AN ALTERNATIVE TO A DATE?

Rhythm of Life [Explored] by Rickydavid

I’m scared!  No, seriously!!!

I’m really really a-scared to go to another Meetup. After my first.

Well, maybe I overstated that a bit. Let me put it this way, it’s been 3 months since the first and I still can’t bring myself to sign up for a second.

My girlfriend, she’s not scared.  She’s already decided. “Not for me!”

The sole purpose for our first? To Meet Men.

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ASSEMBLING IKEA – A BOSS, MYSELF AND A DATE


Assembling Ikea - A Boss, Myself and a Date

Honestly. I don’t know that there is anything funny that comes out of assembling a piece of Ikea furniture.

The first time I ever put a piece of Ikea furniture together was years ago at a law firm where I worked. I was somewhere in my stupid-old 20’s. It was a small firm.  A very, very small firm. My title? Jack-of-all-Trades. Apparently.

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THE TEENAGE-MOBILE – AN EXCUSE FOR AN AUTOMOBILE

Car

Below in the garage of this building in which I reside sits the Teenage-mobile.  A 2003 silver Corolla – owning no hubcaps, doors dented, back bumper askew, scrapes and scratches, with a total of 253,080 miles to its name – well, as of today.

And that car is all mine. Hallelujah!

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